Reflections

I can't believe that Brian and I have been married for 38 years as of today. It sounds like a long time but it doesn't feel that way. We've been through alot in those years. As I reflect back on those years i am reminded that they have not all been easy but neither have they all been bad. Some were very rough and rocky and seemingly all up hill and others have gone smoothly. I have found a couple of things of interest to note; we both have our emotional/ spiritual highs and lows and it seems like when one is riding high the other is down in the dumps. One can usually pull the other up though so that we are both headed in the same direction without having to drag each other.
The other thing that I have noted is the amount of compromise that has to go on in a marriage to make it work. Brian and I came from two very different backgrounds. We both brought our ideas and preconceived perceptions of what a marriage should be and how we should raise our children. The scriptures aren't kidding when they say to be evenly yoked! You really need to be working togeather, side- by- side and pulling the load equally. It is very easy to get caught up in self- pity when you are tired and wore out and not recognize how tired your spouce may be too. Neither spouce has a easy job and both can be very challenging. Both spouces can be tired and there still may be what seems like tons of things to get done. All I can say is that it helps to share the burden. To be supportive of one another when the load seems overwhelming. One other thing that has helped to get us to the 38 year mark is recognizing that neither of us is perfect and that we each have our short comings to over come and deal with. Finger pointing and accusations are darts in the devils hands. They pierce the heart and soul of their victim and cause deep pain and suffering which destroys the self-esteem of the person being targetted. When the self-esteem of a person is ruined they become self-conscious and uncomfortable with who they are, they lack self-confidence and have a hard time moving forward and making decisions. They can end up feeling like a failure in life and can find themselves incircled in the arms of depression.
How many times in my life have I been there? Growing up and being told that I could not do something BECAUSE i was a girl. Being made to feel that because I was a girl it made it impossible for me to comprehend anything other than being a housewife and a mother. Being married to Brian has not always been easy but it has made me stronger and it has given me ample opportunity to prove to myself that I am capable of doing things that I never dreamed of doing as a girl. I am not the same as I was 38 years ago. I have grown strong and capable and now know that I can acheive my goals and dreams in spite of the fact that I am a woman but maybe more so because I am a woman.